professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.

Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.

Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.

The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.

I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.

The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.

So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.

Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.

Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

image

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

Source: prokopetz

troylersombrero:

herestothegirlthatwreckedmyworld:

wellisnthatwizard:

hohenheiny:

YOU GUYS
SO I ACTUALLY DID THIS A FEW MONTHS AGO AND I DIDNT EVEN THINK THEY LOOKED AT THIS SORT OF THING SO BY THE TIME THE DELIVERY MAN CAME I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT I WROTE THAT AND THE GUY WAS REALLY CUTE. WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR HE WAS SUPER FLUSTERED AND DROPPED HIS PEN, THE BAG HOLDING THE PIZZA AND THE RECEIPTS. THEN after i signed the receipt and he was getting ready to leAVEEEE HE GOES “So… umm… did you actually put that?” and i was like “put what?” and he goes “… to.. um… tell you.. um that you’re pretty” omg it hit me that this was why he was all nervous and i started cracking up omfg then he told me that i was pretty.
ahhh pizza

i did this once but when the guy came to the door I sent my friend Martin to get the pizza and I heard muffled laughter and then Martin came back into the room with the pizza and whispered “he told me I was pretty”

Omg

This is on my bucket list

troylersombrero:

herestothegirlthatwreckedmyworld:

wellisnthatwizard:

hohenheiny:

YOU GUYS

SO I ACTUALLY DID THIS A FEW MONTHS AGO AND I DIDNT EVEN THINK THEY LOOKED AT THIS SORT OF THING SO BY THE TIME THE DELIVERY MAN CAME I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT I WROTE THAT AND THE GUY WAS REALLY CUTE. WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR HE WAS SUPER FLUSTERED AND DROPPED HIS PEN, THE BAG HOLDING THE PIZZA AND THE RECEIPTS. THEN after i signed the receipt and he was getting ready to leAVEEEE HE GOES “So… umm… did you actually put that?” and i was like “put what?” and he goes “… to.. um… tell you.. um that you’re pretty” omg it hit me that this was why he was all nervous and i started cracking up omfg then he told me that i was pretty.

ahhh pizza

i did this once but when the guy came to the door I sent my friend Martin to get the pizza and I heard muffled laughter and then Martin came back into the room with the pizza and whispered “he told me I was pretty”

Omg

This is on my bucket list

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

Source: kallesdemos

ruinedchildhood:

Spongebob is the mother fuckin devil

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

Source: ruinedchildhood

pizzaight:

shutsman:

WHAT SPORT IS THIS?

my sport

pizzaight:

shutsman:

WHAT SPORT IS THIS?

my sport

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

Source: lolgifs.net

Text

aneatoblog:

When a game has “And you.” in the special thanks section of the credits.

image

(via tyleroakley)

Source: aneatoblog

thelatinalesbiana:

trill-shit-bitchez:

littlecraftyqueen:

surprisebitch:

this is why you cant say that nicki is not a feminist

I love her so much omg

Yes

Werk nicki werk

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

Source: fistopherbrown

chillona:

intimateobsession:

The Curvaceous African/British BombShell F. NKem @fi_racksey

yes based god

🙊👀😭🙌🙏👏🙏💜💜💜

(via untouchmyhair)

Source: planetofthickbeautifulwomen

Text

aph-peter-kirkland:

So I want to help calm people down and stuff, so here’s a bird appreciation post.

image

Look how colorful this one is

image

This one is so pretty

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LOOK HOW BLUE THIS ONE IS

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THIS ONE IS SO FAT

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Emus are so weird I love them 

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Kiwi birds are adorable 

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IT’S FLUFFY

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This one looks angry

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Majestic as fuck

image

Just, BIRDS! 

(via childofcolour)

Source: aph-peter-kirkland

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

Source: puppiestotherescue

relahvant:

sykeopath:

what


ONWARD SEBASTIAN

relahvant:

sykeopath:

what

ONWARD SEBASTIAN

(via tyleroakley)

Source: lavagoth